82. You land in your new country with the attitude that they owe you something.
81. Your cologne precedes you into the room/car.
80. You refer to yourself as a Persian, not an Iranian.
79. You refer to every other Persian as a FOB.
78. You have a fear of being deported.
77. You refuse to drive anything but a BMW or Mercedes.
76. You refer to a BMW as a BMV.
75. You're always on the verge of trading in your Honda/Nissan for a Beamer or Mercedes.
74. You have a friend that designs websites.
73. You think Black Cats have talent.
72. You only hang out in droves of 12 or more.
71. Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black.
70. You think your uni-brow is sexy.
69. You celebrate when you receive your citizenship.
68. You're sister is harrier than you.
67. You wish Waffle House had "kaleh pache" on the menu.
66. You and your brother share girls.
65. You'll sleep with 1,000 blondes but you'll never marry one.
64. You trim your chest hair with clippers and then move down south too!
63. You rap along to DMX in Farsi.
62. You refer to blacks as sousques.
61. Your hair is a fire hazard.
60. You dream about girls in Iran taking it in the ass to keep their virginity.
59. You own a fake Rolex, Omega, or TAG.
58. Your Armani pants don't fit you, but you wear them anyways.
57. You think you're the first one to come up with Persian Mafia.
56. You know the Persian Mafia hand sign.
55. You rewind the movie Clueless to show your friends the Mafia part.
54. You tell people your half Italian.
53. You find cow tongue appetizing.
52. You have convinced yourself that your eyes are really green or blue.
51. You know Ali.
50. You have to explain to sefeeds that a visa is not a credit card.
49. You listen to rap but talk shit about black people.
48. Your refer to your dads friends as Amoo!
47. You order hot tea at Chili's.
46. Your parents have a samovar.
45. You have a houka as a centerpiece in your living room.
44. You take dates out to chelo kabob.
43. You have a persian rug in every room.
42. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs.
41. You go to persian concerts for the falloudeh.
40. You actually like carbonated yogurt drinks.
39. You've ever been in a fight because someone called you a camel jockey.
38. You always taroff about who will pay.
37. You either tip 2% or 50% but never 15%.
36. You know how to flash your wallet and then put it back without paying.
35. You only wear Adidas athletic wear.
34. Your cell phone has a stupid-ass ring.
33. Your grandmother insists you eat something every time you visit her.
32. You refer to your group as Khodemuni.
31. You're intramural team consists of all persians and that one white guy.
30. You name your pet Versace.
29. You can get a hook-up almost anywhere you go.
28. You have ever participated in tax evasion.
27. You like Jay-Z's "Big Pimpin"
26. You'll listen to anything but country music.
25. Your parents say your becoming americanized anytime you get into trouble.
24. You know Samad is funnier than Jim Carrey.
23. You're parents have been here for 20 years but they still say "I like dat von".
22. You get mad when you see a persian girl with a sefeed because you your *** is bigger.
21. You say things like "It's all about being persian!"--what?!?
20. All your jokes are targeted towards Afghans and Turks
19. You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life.
18. Brag to everyone how you are from the true "Aryan" race
17. You curse at your teachers or strangers in Farsi
16. You have sudden and strange cravings for "doogh"
15. You drink so much chayee your piss is brown
14. You wonder whether a cute girl is Persian and go up to ask her just to start a conversation
13. You wear a gold "Allah" necklace or have a Quran in your house even though you are not Muslim
12. You have to constantly remind your American friends to take off their shoes when they enter your house
11. You know all the local Persian restaurants within a 30 mile radius of your house
10. You take Persian food to school or work to eat, even if it is cold kabob
9. Your wardrobe consists of two colors: black and grey.
8. You flip out when someone mistakes you for a Mexican or Indian.
7. The last three cars you owned were either Lexus, Mercedes, or BMW.
6. You have to explain to all your friends that being Persian and Iranian are the same thing.
5. You try to get hooked up with a discount when the owner of a shop is Persian.
4. You own a Persian pride hat, shirt, or an Iran jersey so everyone knows you are Persian.
3. You are hairy and damn proud of it.
2. Your vocabulary when talking to your Persian friends only consists of the words "k**n", "k*s", or "k*r"
1. Your AOL screen name is or contains a persian word.
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